Body Integration

Reverb 2010- Day 12

December 12 – Body Integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? 

Seriously, come on people... who writes these prompts?  

I would like to say that I ran a marathon this year, or won some mega-award for being the strongest female or something.... well, actually, I take that back.  I really have no desire to run a marathon, and female body buildres kinda freak me out.  

I guess at the risk of sounding redundant, the truest moment where I felt the most "oneness" in my body and mind was in giving birth.  But I kinda already wrote about that on Day Three when I wrote about feeling most alive.  

So... that's all I got for today!

Things

Reverb 2010- Day 11

December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

"Things."  What an all-inclusive yet vague title, huh?  I live pretty low key and generally adapt to a no-drama policy.  We don't really have a lot of material "things" that get in the way, because well... we don't want things getting in the way of our reason for living.  Hmmmmm... so I'll work the list a little differently. Here we go...

Things I don't need in 2011 and will be doing without!

1. Bitterness.  I've learned that holding onto bitterness only gives the people or situation more power than they're worth or deserve.  So along with bitterness, I'm letting go of two other very pesky "things" in my life (which may or may not be specific pesky individuals) that have been the source of much of this unnecessary and now banned bitterness.
2. Unnamed Aforementioned "Thing" Uno
3. Unnamed Aforementioned "Thing" Dos

Now I'm going to list things I'd like to get rid of but am not quite sure exactly how to...

4. Stressing about finding a job
5. Stressing about a place to live
6. Stressing about a place to have our baby
7. Worry about having a healthy baby

And finally, things I'd REALLY like to get rid of (and will pray for a miracle)... but one can always hope, right?

8. Allergies to my kitties... I love them so much, but they make me so miserable!  But I still love them.
9. Allergy to milk.  No icecream, pizza or alfredo... need I say more?
10. Insomnia.  Sean falls asleep in 2 seconds... me, its more like 2 hours!
11.  **aaaaand... that's all I've got, people!**

Wisdom

Reverb 2010- Day 10

December 10 – Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? 

I made a lot of decisions this year.  Tough decisions.  Decisions that no one should ever have to make.  The hardest decision, of course, was whether or not to continue carrying Whitney, despite her life-limiting diagnosis.  

I think I've written on here before that Sean and I really did struggle with this decision.  It took some time for me to truly own up to that fact-- the fact that for a brief time, we considered if there were any pro's to terminating our pregnancy.  But in the interest of full disclosure here, we did.  It was perhaps the third most life-defining moment thus far.  (See HERE for the first two most important decisions you'll ever make.)  Even though I have been an active part of the pro-life community since college, with a thorough knowledge of aboriton and the life-long devastation it causes, we still had to look at all of the options that were presented to us.  And not because we wanted an easy way out, but because we were desperately worried about bringing pain to our baby or the pain she was potentially experiencing.  

By the grace of God, we took time to pray, seek counsel and search God's promises for some direction.  Without fail, our Heavenly Father came through (as he always does).  I was comforted by the Psalms that told me "the Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made."  These verses told me that it was not my job to be the mercenary for my daughter... it was not my job to determine her fate.  I had no say in when her tiny heart started beating, and I was to have no say in when it would stop beathing.  The Lord is good to all.  Including my daughter.  His perfect, tiny creation.  

I have no regrets about that decision.  There were a lot of "what if's" during my pregnancy, but when all was said and done, every last question was answered.  I know what she looked like, how she smelled, whose features she had.  Had we listened to my doctor and aborted at 24 weeks, we would not have had those answers.  We would have never held her.  Yes, it was a tough few months until her delivery, but every day of uncertainty was worth it for all of the finality we now have.  Termination does not provide that kind of closure.  It just leaves an empty womb, which I was going to have one way or another, sooner or later.  

That was the best decision I made this year.  And I would do it all over again if I had to.  An equally great decision was the choices that Sean and I made every day to wake up and continue loving one another.  Even though some days, our grief made us really ugly.  We still loved and cared for and cherished each other...even more than we ever had before.  Many couples don't make it through such trying times, but I am so thankful for my partner in life!  And that decision, I would make a million times over!

PARTY!!!!

Reverb 2010- Day 9

December 9 – Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. 

I just have to start this off by saying I've been pretty stressed out tonight.  Stressed/sad/anxious/upset/mad/fill-in-the-blank.  We have experienced so many major life changes this year, and I'm just ready to be settled... but it doesn't look like that is going to happen very soon.  So when I read the prompt for today, I was actually thankful that it made me smile and took me back to one of my favorite times of 2010.

On to the party.... It was somehwere in the middle of the Nile River... sailing between Aswan and Luxor.  We'd just had a day full of taking in ancient sites and wonders.  The mysteries of the oldest culture known to man were fresh in our minds, and I'd been having dreams of Nefertiti.  Before we'd left for our Nile cruise, we went Galabeya shopping in Cairo.  Mom knew the perfect spot that had dozens of linen shops, filled to the brim with colorful dresses and shirts.  I selected one of the more "touristy" styles, with heiroglyphics and other Egyptian landmarks embroidered on it.  Sean, on the other hand, choose the most beautiful, elegant, deep blue and silver galabeya-- it was fit for royalty!  We also bought a couple more galabeyas... simpler, lightweight cotton ones, too.  You know... for those days back in the states when we just want to dress up, uh, Egyptian style.  What can I say?  They were beautiful.  And there were just SO MANY choices.  

After our long, hot day of sight-seeing through some amazing temples, we came back to our ship and took showers, then got into our shiny new Egyptian outfits.  We all went to the on-board store, where we were dressed up with beaded head pieces and the guy even did Mom and I's make-up-- Egyptian-style, of course.  The guy was really quite charming, and had been giving me 'the eye' every time we saw him on the ship... though, please don't think I let it get to my head.  I was about the only 20-something femal onboard and I wasn't wearing my wedding ring.  Anyways, I think he propositioned me... via my mother.  He jokingly asked in broken English, "How many camels for your daughter?"  When my mom told him that I was married he apologized profusely and got very shy!  

We had a delicious dinner up on the patio that night.  The Nile air was warm but not hot, and a cooling breeze blew through the canvas awnings.  Our dinner was beautifully lit by lights strung all across the dining deck.  In the corner of the deck was a grill where an array of meats were grilled, and a large spread of sides, breads and desserts were laid out before us like a feast for Pharoah.  The villages along the banks of the Nile were lit up, and I couldn't help but wonder about the lives of those who lived inside the glowing houses.  

After our bellies were sufficiently full, it was time for the party to begin!  A DJ in the back of the ship's lounge played rhytmic, east African music (mingled with the occasional "American" party song), while all the cruisers were encouraged to get out on the dance floor!  We shook our groove thangs alongside the rest of our shipmates, all random strangers mostly over 60, of course.  There were party games (like pass the bottle- hot potato style), dancing, talking and drinking-- Stella and wine were the libations of choice.  It was a wonderful, carefree jubilation that seemed to go on and on... literally until the very last soul left the dance floor.  

It was a wonderful, colorful, dream-like evening.  If any of my friends knew what a galabeya was, I would probably even be tempted to thrown my own party some time!  But, I think parties like this are truly meant to be once in a lifetime, saved for once in a lifetime trips and places.  I am so thankful to God for the amazing gift of memories... and the sites, sounds and smells that can transport me back to that moment as if it were yesterday.  

 

Beautifully Different

Reverb 2010- Day 8

December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

Hmmm... really?  This is kinda lame.  Or maybe I'm just uncomfortable with introspection of this sort.  It could also have to do with the fact that I have a tendency to let others' opinions of me color the way I feel about myself... and these days, I haven't felt so "bright". 

This is actually kind of funny that this is the prompt for today, because just this afternoon, I taught an entire class on self-esteem to a group of troubled adolescent girls in a rehab house.  One of the things I had them write was what made them unique-- beautifully different.  So now, I feel like one of them... groaning at the assignment.  But I'll spare the choice words and attitudes that I got this afternoon.  :)  (For the record, I really love teaching those girls... so much potential hidden behind so much hurt.)

So what makes me unique?  Well, I'm creative... I love writing and crafting and making things with my hands.  But I hardly have the discipline or desire to make it a regular part of my day-to-day life.  Perhaps things will be different when I'm not working full-time.  

Another thing?  I have amazing friends.  They definitely make me a better person.  The ones who really, truly know me are awesome... and they know that I'm, well, awesome, too.  And they've never left me, no matter how moody I can get.  (Which is really only on rare occasions.  I've only gone "old-timey photo crazy" (aka- ballistic) twice in the entire friendship I've had with my BFFFFFFFFs, Tracy, Will & Wade.  And they know me better than anyone else.  Especially Tracy.  We're talking, take-it-to-the-grave, thisclose kinda friendship.  No seriously, I don't know what I did to deserve a friendship like ours.  Anyways, one of those two rare crazy moments was on my wedding day.  So that one doesn't count.  Only one crazy moment in more than a decade of best friendship is pretty good.  Right?)  We have awesome Oscar parties and red-neck tree burnings in the woods.  Like I said, awesomeness. 

Finally, (this may seem weird to say) but I really dig my sense of humor.  Is that weird to say that I like the way I think?  It sounds weird to me, but whatever... I appreciate a good 80's reference (ala, Psych), while interjecting Perez-like commentary mingled with the occasional Journey or Michael Jackson song in every day situations.  Seriously, you should be inside my head sometimes.  Its quite entertaining.  I guess if you can't make yourself giggle every now and then, what makes you think other people want to hear you joke around?

From Amanda P

An online friend and fellow angel baby mom, Amanda, sent this picture to us for Whitney's name gallery.  She is a teacher and has a student named Whitney.  When she told her student about our name gallery, she went home and found something to take a picture of for us!  Thank you so much for sending this to us and for thinking about us!!

 

You can see the rest of Whitney's Name Gallery pictures by clicking the photo below:

 

And if you're wondering what's up with this name thing, click HERE.  :-)

You can submit photos for Whitney's name gallery, too!  Just email your picture to me: 

sheyennew (AT) gmail (DOT) com

 

From Amanda S

These pictures are from my friend, Amanda S... they're taken in Cancun!  Oh how I'd love to be there right now!!!  Just look at that great white sand!!

You can see the rest of Whitney's Name Gallery pictures by clicking the photo below:

 

And if you're wondering what's up with this name thing, click HERE.  :-)

You can submit photos for Whitney's name gallery, too!  Just email your picture to me: 

sheyennew (AT) gmail (DOT) com