Quotes

What we have once, we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.
—Helen Keller

Then a woman said, "Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow."
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises
was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being,
the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine
the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit,
the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart
and you shall find it is only that which has
given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart,
and you shall see that in truth you are weeping
for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow,"
and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
—Anonymous

Sometimes love lasts a moment.
Sometimes love lasts a lifetime.
Sometimes a moment is a lifetime.
—Anonymous

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away.
—Anonymous

There is no foot so small that it cannot leave an imprint on the world.
—Anonymous

Gone yet not forgotten
Although we are apart
Your spirit lives within me
forever in my heart
—Anonymous

In my heart your memory lingers
Always tender, fond & true
There's not a day , dear boys,
I do not think of you.
—Anonymous

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there, we do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight of ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am no there, I did not die.
—Anonymous

"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected."
-Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

And can it be
That in a world so full and busy,
the loss of one creature
makes a void in any heart,
so wide and deep that nothing
but the width and depth of eternity
can fill it up.
-Charles Dickens

They say that time in heaven is compared to 'the blink of an eye' for us on this earth. Sometimes it helps me to think of my child running ahead of me through a beautiful field of wildflowers and butterflies; so happy and completely caught up in what she is doing that when she looks behind her, I'll already be there. 
-Author Unknown 

An angel in the book of life wrote down my baby's birth.
Then whispered as she closed the book "too beautiful for earth.
~Author Unknown

As Long As I Live You Will Live
As Long As I Live You Will Be Remembered
As Long As I Live You Will Be Loved...Author unknown

If tears could build a stairway, and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

How very softly
you tiptoed into my world.
Almost silently;
Only a moment you stayed.
But what an imprint
Your footprints have left
On our hearts.
--Author Unknown

"To Remember Is Painful
To Forget Is Impossible."
~Maureen Connelly

Now I lay you down to sleep,
I pray the Lord your soul to keep;
Within his arms he'll hold you tight,
My Heavenly Angel, My Guiding Light. 

The mention of my child's name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears. If you are really my friend, let me hear the beautiful music of his name. It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul.

Some say you are too painful to remember, I say you are too PRECIOUS to forget!

Little footprints
How very softly you tiptoed into our world, almost silently, only a moment you stayed. But what an imprint you footsteps have left upon our hearts.
-- Dorothy Ferguson

A moment in our arms...a lifetime in our hearts.

A family is a circle of love, not broken by a loss, but made stronger by the memories. We remember.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched, but are felt in the heart.
-Helen Keller

I put your name in the sand.
but the waves washed it away.
I put your name on my hand.
but I washed it away the next day.
I put your name on paper.
but I accidentally threw it away.
I put your name in my heart and forever it will stay
-By Shelby Ann Arthur

We do not remember days, we remember moments.

Sometimes love is for a moment.
Sometimes love is for a lifetime.
Sometimes a moment is a lifetime.
“We have suffered, but we have survived;
We are hurting, but we are enduring.”
-Ben Van Vechten

Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my babies on my lap and tell them about you, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold them on your lap and tell them about me?

Loved with a love beyond telling,
Missed with a grief beyond all tears.

A Life may last for just a moment....
but memory can make that moment last forever...

Gone yet not forgetten,
although we are apart,
your spirit lives within me,
forever in my heart. 

Wonder

Reverb 2010 Day Four

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

When I first saw this prompt, I kind of thought it was silly at first... who has time for a sense of wonder in this busy world?  But then I thought about what having a sense of wonder truly means.... And to me, it means appreciating the moment; taking in the fullness of beauty found in the every day.  And when I thought about it that way, I really think I have a good balance of keeping the wonder in my life.

In a year full of such precious, fleeting moments, I've made a very conscious effort to be present in each second, in every minute.  There's really nothing scientific or complex about how I do that... its just a mental determination to breathe in deeply and fully the beauty of every situation.  And I am so thankful that I have done that this year, instead of letting the days just pass me by. 

Moment

Reverb '10- Day Three

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

One very obvious moment sticks out in my head from this past year.  The first one is the day Whitney was born.  I wrote about that day in detail HERE, but it was such an oxymornonic clash of emotions.  On the one hand, feeling the pain of childbirth (albeit thankfully mellow compared to some horror stories I've heard) made me feel more alive than I'd ever felt.  Like my body was experiencing the culmination of all it was meant to do as a woman.  But simultaneously, a part of me was dying... the part that had cultivated so many dreams and wishes for my first-born.  Indeed, a strange crux of my existence.  

Writing

Reverb '10- Day Two

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? 

This one is easy... media multitasking.  Usually when I am writing on this blog or anything else, I have a million other things going too... TV, Radio, phone calls... whatever.  I could blame this on being a product of the MTV Generation, but I'm not really one to pass blame onto ambiguous pop culture labels.  

I think its largely due in part to laziness and a lack of discipline.  I enjoy unwinding with "noise" around me (strange, I know) and would rather sit on my couch than at the kitchen table.  I dream of the day when I have a beautiful 'writing room'... I know there is so much more in my head that I want to write about... much of it in relation to what I have learned this year (and am continuing to learn) with Whitney.  

Ian Fleming (author of the infamous James Bond series) retreated to Goldeneye, his private estate in Oracabessa, Jamaica to pen all 13 of Bond books.  Just look at this place... I mean, who couldn't write a New York Times bestseller in a place like this??

That's great for people who have a jet-setting lifestyle and billion-dollar bduget.  But my creative jucies require something a little more elegant and down to earth.  In my dream world, my writing room would look something like Shaunna's Ethereal writing room.  Just check out this heavenly writer's space:

I could definitely craft some words to coincide with my feelings on that beautiful homemade daybed! She even has a beautiful Writing Bath to go along with this space...

Well, you simply must go check out her amazing space. Maybe some day I'll have a writing room to.. you know, write in.  And my stereo will only be allowed to play Yiruma, Lizst, Beethoven and other composers like that.  :)

One Word.

Reverb '10- Day One

After seeing this on my friend, Kristina's blog, I've decided to participate in Reverb 2010... its sort of a writing exercise to recap this past year.  And since this has bee quite the eventful year, I figured it would be a good thing to do.  

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Loss.

If I could sum up 2010 in one, honest word, it would be loss.  I've experienced more loss than year than my previous 28 years combined.  Most notably, we lost our baby.  Though I could go on and on about how I know we haven't really "lost" her... I know where she is and will see her again.  But we've lost the dreams we had for her here on this earth... we've lost milestones, birthday cakes, first days of school, dances, graduations and a million other would-be 'firsts.'  

Less importantly, we've lost our job (well, Sean's job but our main source of income and reason for the major relocation we made three years ago).  And as a result of that, we will lost our house.  And I will most likely have to lose(leave) my job, as well.  In comparison to the death of our daughter, losing a house or a job is truly the least of my cares.  It is time for us to move on, and we have no desire to stay on a sinking ship any longer than is necessary.  When life throws you a lifeboat, get off the Titanic, right?  So these losses are really just changes... and, if you want to get all "Dr. Phil" that's what my real 'issue' is.

So in all of those things, the true loss this year has been a loss of security and my previously held belief that life is inherently good.  Not that I've become a Debby Downer or Negative Nancy, I guess I've just been shaken out of my 'la-la-land' existence in which I so ignorantly blissfully lived in for nearly three decades and into the reality that most people are awaken to much too early.  So I'm not down on life, and I know that there are good people in the world, and that good things do happen, but I am also so much more acutely aware that this is life on earth.  EARTH.  Not heaven.  And its not meant to be perfect.  Its not even promised to be good.  But I am forever grateful and thankful that I know the One who IS perfect, and completely ALL GOOD.  

What would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Restoration.

This is a tough one... one-worders are always tough.  But I hope that in 2011, much that has been lost will be restored.  Not much else to say on that one.  :)

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Thank-You

For all that You've done, I will thank You 
Especially the time you gave us with Whitney, and all the lessons we've learned from her 

For all that You're going to do
Like the plans you have for the life of our future little one
For all that You've promised and all that You are
Is all that has carried me through
knowing your goodnesss, love and mercy are never-changing
Jesus, I thank You 

and I thank You
for the friends and family who have stood by our side this past year
thank You Lord
for meeting our every need in our moments of loss
and I thank You
for being the same throughout all our circumstances
thank You Lord
for your sovereignty

Thank You for loving and setting me free
From worrying about our future... it is all in your hands.
Thank You for giving Your life just for me
so we can have the HOPE and PROMISE of Heaven, and holding our little girl again.
How I thank You
for accepting me just as I am, when other people didn't
Jesus, I thank You
that this journey is not over
I gratefully thank You
for the abundant joy that surpasses pain
And I thank You
for the hopes of Heaven!