Tonight, I was reading the blog of a sweet momma friend who just lost her newborn son three weeks ago. He was born on a Monday, and she was remarking how it had been a difficult day for her. As soon as I read that, my stomach leapt to my throat in horror, and I suddenly could not remember what day of the week Whitney was born. I took a minute to walk through it in my head...
Monday I was terribly sick, but had to go to work despite being so ill. It was a horrible day. But Sean and I listened our baby's heartbeat that night. Such a sweet, reaassuring sound.
Tuesday, I stayed home and didn't even get out of bed. I had never been that sick in my life. Sean stayed in bed with me nearly all day, too. Tuesday night, I began having contractions. They were coming literally every 5 minutes, sometimes closer.
Wednesday morning, I called my doctor and he wanted us to go straight to Labor & Delivery. There, we learned Whitney was already praising Jesus in heaven. After waiting hours to see my doctor, and consulting with him, we decided we'd meet our angel the next day. My mom and sister flew in Wednesday night.
Thursday. It was a Thursday. Whitney was born at 12:58 pm on February 11, 2010. It was a Thursday.
Friday, we went home. I left the hospital in a wheelchair with nothing but a stuffed bunny and my water jug in my hands. It was a quiet ride home. So quiet.
How could I not remember that? Shouldn't it be something that I just know off the top of my head? I suppose its true I no longer count the weeks it has been since we last held our baby. But I still think about how old she should be... what milestones she'd be climbing, and how long her adorable curly hair would be getting.
There are things I'm sure I've forgotten about the details of her birth, but in the days and weeks right after she was born, I took hours to document every single minute detail of the week leading up to her birth. I am so glad I took the time to do that! And I am so grateful for the precious memories and moments that were created and shared on that Thursday.
Ashley died on a Thursday...Maudy Thursday to be exact... I think remember all the details all the time is overwhelming to our psyche and our emotion boards... I think remembering bits is a gift from the Holy Spirit... helping us grieve, but not overloading our circuits!
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