3rd Trimester Already?!

So I am officially into my third and final trimester now!  I can't believe so much time has passed since we got our first ever positive pregnancy test!  I have such mixed emotions... most women, by this point, are so ready for the whole pregnancy to be over.  Ready to eat sushi, drink cosmos and paint their own toe nails.  While I share these senitments to a certain degree, the greater part of me is not ready to part with Whitney.  Aside from a miracle (for which we are still praying), the end of my pregnancy means the end of our time on earth with her.  And no part of me will ever be ready for that.  

We went to the dr. again today and again heard a strong heartbeat!  We had a good talk with Dr. D about our delivery options, and we are feeling much better about staying with him for the duration of this pregnancy.  We talked about transferring me to a high risk doctor, but the high risk doctor didn't see a need to take over my care.  My doctor, Dr. D, then told me that he would have loved to transfer my care because this is a sad situation, and he'd like to be out of it.  Then, almost as an after-thought he said, "I'm sure you guys would like to be out of this situation, too."  You think?  Um, yeah.  Thanks doc.  Bedside manner aside, though, I really feel that he is going to continue to give us great care and he is really listening to what we want.  We're also going to have another high level ultrasound at Valley Children's soon.  So its good to feel like we're working together and being heard.  Also, it was good to make it through some difficult discusions without breaking into tears.  I think our strong disposition helped the doctor feel more at ease in talking frankly with us, too.

On another note... today is the 37th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision.  I've been a part of the pro-life movement for years, but never before has the sanctity of human life ever had such meaning to me personally.  The Feminists for Life organization uses the slogan, "Abortion is evidence that we have not met the needs of women."  I completely agree.  While I believe that there is still a long way to go in meeting the healthcare needs of women, I also believe that abortion or termination is never the answer-- no matter what the circumstances.  Multiple times a week, I hear this statement from clients: "I don't believe in abortion, but in this case...."  Abortion is seen as a gray area in difficult circumstances.  Women are advised every day by their doctors to compromise their beliefs in the midst of tragic circumstances.  And more times than not, that advice is followed.  I remember leaving the children's hospital after finding out that our little girl was so sick and being told to terminate little Whitney.  Sean and I earnestly talked about our options, and desperately tried to see a 'gray area' in this issue...some way out of OUR pain and preventing pain to our little one.  But when we sincerely sought God and searched our hearts for what we knew to be true, it was evident all along that there really is NO gray area.  There's no gray area because this life really isn't about US.  Its about bringing GLORY to His name.  And somehow, through this difficult time, through our daughter's short life, God will be glorified, even if it is only in us being faithful to what we know to be true.  This is not a situation that has an 'exception to the rule.'  It truly is a black and white issue.  

As a Christian, it is difficult to declare that there are absolute truths.  Absolutes are hard for me to claim, because I like to please everyone and offend no one.  It is uncomfortable to take a stance that could be perceived as uncaring or legalistic: Stealing is always wrong (even when you give it to the poor).  Adultery is never justified (even if your spouse cheats on you first).  You shall have no other gods before God (surely your job, computer, school, etc doesnt' justify as a god, right?). Jesus is the only way to heaven (no matter how much humanitarian good you may do).  Not popular stances to take.  The same is true with abortion/termination... what about rape?  incest?  deformities?  financial woes?  certain death to the infant?  a teenage mom?  I don't claim to have all the answers, and I would be impudent to suggest that such decisions are easy.  They are not.  I don't know why such seemingly unfair things happen, other than the fact that we live in a fallen world.  But as believers who are meant to be a LIGHT to this dark world, we are to remain faithful to the truths that have no gray.  

James 4:17
"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."