9 Months, Baby

A recap of my weekend is coming up... but I'm still trying to process it.  Parts of the weekend were to sacred, too precious to even articulate.  I was so incredibly blessed by this weekend.  I feel like the numbness I've been feeling for so long has been stripped away, and I can "feel" again... yes, I'm feeling a lot of sadness, loss and grief but I am also once again feeling the gratitude, the love, God's compassion, His peace, and the joy that bathed my soul when Whitney was born.  Feeling isn't a bad thing... I'm realizing I can't experience the joys unless I walk through the pains.   

 

It's been 9 months since Whitney was born.  Today, it seems like forever ago.  It seems like another life... like a dream. Its hard to believe that we've now been without her longer than we were with her.  Its hard to believe that in another three months it will have been a whole year.  I am forever grateful that God chose me to be Whitney's mommy.  And I am so thankful for the strength and grace he gave us to make it through the difficult decisions we had to make when we found out she was sick.  I would do it all again if I had to. 

 

A Mother's Love

I didn't have to look into your eyes

to fall in love with you.

I didn't have to hear you cry

to know you loved me too.

I didn't need to hold your hand

to cherish you for always.

Within my womb, we shared our hearts,

you touched my soul.

You sweetened my spirit.

You gave me memories I will always hold clear.

Yes, my heart aches since you departed too soon.

But a mother's love does not end with death.

For you are my child,

Forever my love is yours...

~Author Unknown