The Best Day Ever

July 31, 2009.  

The Best. Day. EVER.

I woke up early in the morning, having decided the night before that I was going to take a pregnancy test first thing.  

Hubby had left earlier that morning for a weekend-long concert at the beach with some youth group kids.

I woke up excited and more eager than ever to POAS (pee on a stick, in TTC (trying to conceive) lingo).  I did that first thing, then went on with my morning routine, trying to forget about that stick sitting on the side of my bathtub that was rapidly changing colors.

I waited for the time to be up (3 minutes exactly... no more, no less), though I may have peeked once after about 90 seconds or so.

Two lines.

Two PINK lines.

Two VERY DARK PINK LINES!!!!

I scrambled to find the wrapper in the trash... did I pee on the right kind of stick?  Could it possibly be?!?!  I dug deeper into the trash for the directions, just to be sure I was reading the test correctly (like its that hard in the first place... one line=negative, no baby; two lines=positive, a baby!).  YES!!! It was!  

I immediately scrambled for my phone, which as usual, was nearly out of battery.  I called my BFFFFF, Tracy.  At first I think I played it cool... 

Me: Hi, BFF (yeah, we actually call e/o that... or 'best friend')
BFF: Hi, what are you up to?
Me: Oh, nothing much just getting ready for work.
BFF: Oh yeah?  That's cool...
BFF: So, what's up?  Have you heard anything more about your adoption application?
Me: Um... (minor freak out dance here) Well, no.... but.... I just took a pregnancy test and I think there's two lines.   
BFF: **brief silence** WHAT?  
Me & BFF: OMG? SERIOUSLY? WHAT?
Me: What do I do???
BFF: Did you tell Sean yet?
ME: No, he's out of town, and I want to be sure!
BFF: Well.... go get some more tests!
Me: Ok, I will and then I'll call you!
BFF: Ok!  I have a dentist appointment but I'll call you after that if we miss each other.
Me: OK!  LYMY! (Love you miss you, in best friend lingo)

After I got off the phone with BFF (afterall, I still had to go to work) I finished getting ready and gathered all the composure I could and headed into the office.  Somewhere in my morning, I wrote as my facebook status, "This is the best day ever!"

A co-worker from the front office came back and asked, "Are you pregnant?!"  I ho-hummed around the question with another question: "Why would you think that?!"  She just said something about how I wrote on FB that this was the best day ever... I lied and told her I was talking about getting to see my best friend soon... Um, yeah.  

Sometime that morning, I called my mom and told her.  She cried.  I cried.  I remember feeling weird about it too...almost like I was a teenager telling my mom I was pregnant.  Weird, but wonderful.  My dad was actually in flight, on his way to Egypt (where he and my mom were MOVING).  But I called him anyways and left him a voicemail with the news.  (A day or so later, after he landed in Egypt I got a hold of him via telephone.  He hadn't received that voice mail so I got to tell him in person!  So glad he didn't get that... it was WAY better telling him in person... well, in person on the phone.)

At lunchtime, I dashed into Walgreens for three more pregnancy test.  All differnt brands, just in case there was some kind of conspiracy where the PT-making companies altered the tests to give false-positives.  (Always a conspiracy theory, right?)  I don't know how much money I spent on those things.  I got home, did the whole POAS- or three- thing... and they were all positive!

I called BFF again:

Me: I bought some more tests.
BFF: Well, did you take them yet?
Me: Yes.
BFF: And??
Me: They were all positive!!!! I'm really pregnant!!!!

We both danced around (at least I did... she was at work.  I was in my bathroom.  So maybe only I danced around.)  We hung up beacause she had to run home before her dental appointment.  About 30 minutes later, she called me back.

BFF: Hey...
Me: Hey...
BFF: Um, so when you took your pregnancy test, was one line lighter than the other?
Me: No, I don't think so... they were both pretty dark.  Why?
BFF: Well....
......
......
Because I just took one and there's two lines.
Me: WHAT?!?!
BFF: YEAH!
Me: OMG, are you pregnant?!?! (As if the directions (one line=negative, no baby; two lines=positive, a baby!) had magically just changed)
BFF: Yeah, I think so!!!

(Now we were both really doing a happy dance, in our respective bathrooms, with half the country in between us.)

I don't even remember if I ate lunch or not, but somehow I made it back to work and through the rest of the day.  This was by far one of the best days of my life.

BFF and I spent the rest of the day IM'ing and talking about all kinds of plans... how she told her baby daddy she was knocked up and how I was devising a scavenger hunt to tell Sean about our little growing bean.

I cannot say it enough.  Best Day Of My Life.  One of the greatest memories I hope to NEVER EVER forget... like even when I'm 90 and have lost them all.  This is the one I would hope to retain. 

Fast forward a year later.  July 31, 2010.  In a quiet house.  Just hubby and me.  No baby.  That baby I fell in love with 1 year ago-today is not here.  But knowing all that I know now... the joy, the pain, the tears (of joy and sorrow), the excitement, the nervousness.... all of it.  I'd take it all again.  GLADLY.  I'd do it all over.  Despite it all, it was still one of the best days of my life.

Many women never know the joy of seeing two pink lines.  I am forever grateful I did!  It took years to get that... so I don't take it for granted.  But finding out I was pregnant the same day as my BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD??!??!  Now that hardly ever happens.  I am so grateful for her and the support she is to me.  Her sweet Bella was born shortly after Whitney.  She is a beautiful, chunky, healthy, growing baby girl.  And I am so grateful for her.  I wish she and Whit could have grown up together.  I wish they could have been best friends.  I wish they could have exchanged those best friend half-heart necklaces.  I wish they could have had slumber parties and nights swam in the creek together.  Oh, how I wish so much.  But I know that Bella will know of Whitney.  Her mamma already tells her stories of all the great times they would have had and how much her short life meant to all of us.

I have nothing but gratefulness in my heart.  God gave me a gift so many never have-- a beautiful daughter, and all the memories of carrying her that came with it.  He gave me a friend to walk through the journey.  And he gave me a beautiful reminder of what my daughter might have been like, were she still here today.  

Its been a year since the Best Day Ever.  I miss my baby and wish she were here.  So I hope and pray that there will be another day to rival this Best Day.  But through this all, I've learned I'm not in control.  I must spend time being grateful for what I have, and not for what could have been.  So today, I am so very thankful for the many, many countless gifts my Loving Father has lavished upon me.  He is SO. Good.

"The Lord is good to all;

He has compassion on all He has made."

(from Psalm 145)