Tomorrow we will meet our angel, but today she has already met Jesus.
I stayed home from work yesterday because a nasty cold was kicking my butt. I had contractions on and off all day, but starting about 2 o'clock this morning, they became consitent... about every 5 minutes. I called my dr. first thing this morning and they told me to go to Labor & Delivery. Sure enough, I was having contractions. The nurse couldn't find Whitney's heartbeat with the doppler so they ordered an ultrasound. Sure enough, the ultrasound showed a still baby. No heart beat.
So our plan is to go back in tomorrow and induce stronger labor, if it doesn't pick up on its own in the mean time. My mom gets in tonight from Egypt along with my sister from Phoenix. (They're flying in on the same flight!) I am hoping for one peaceful evening at home with them before the craziness begins tomorrow at 7 a.m. I know mom is going to be so tired. :-( Pray for her strength and health after the long flight over from Egypt. My dad and in-laws will also be coming in this weekend. I am so thankful for the family that we have rallying around us. I'm not very good at asking for help or just letting people love me... I like to be doing things for them too. So this is going to be a challenge in many more ways than just one.
I am going to work on memorizing some focus verses tonight for my labor and delivery. They say with first time moms (I'm a mom!) it can take a long time. And since I haven't slept in over a day and a half, I'm thinking its going to feel extra long. Please pray for Sean, for strength to get through this... he carries so much of my weight and I couldn't have asked God for a better life partner to walk through this chapter of life with. As I type he is on the phone making arrangements with the funeral home in the midst of cleaning and doing last minute laundry. He's my hero.
So tomorrow we meet our angel. When we started this journey, we didn't know how it would end. Now, its clear that this journey will never truly be over, for I think I'll always be learning and growing and changing from this. But another missing piece of the puzzle is coming together. I had hoped to meet our daughter alive, but that's not the way it will go this time. But I am finding all my strength and peace and, yes, even joy in the knowing that she is with Jesus. And some day we will hold her in our arms and she will be more alive and well than ever. I also find great comfort in knowing that she has several loved ones waiting for her in heaven... first and foremost, her Grandma Jill as well as Uncle Bill. Take good care of her until we can all be reunited. No more tears. No sadness. No pain. Just joy. And praise. And most of all, Jesus.
PS= Can I add that I'm still really, really scared? Cuz I am.
My sister Kaylan sent me the link to your blog. I am praying for you tonight and will continue to lift you up tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI am crying with you, and I am rejoicing with you. I am in awe of God's perfect plans, even though I don't understand them. You and Sean are an inspiration. We love you.
ReplyDelete(((hugs))
ReplyDeleteSheyenne, you are an amazing woman of faith and I am so sorry you have had to go through this. Praying for you.
Praying for you and Sean... and hurting with you as well.
ReplyDeleteYou have been on my prayer list for weeks; I will be praying extra prayers for all of you tomorrow. May you have grace, peace and comfort beyond measure from the only One who can meet our every need.
ReplyDeleteNate and I will pray specifically for you all tonight.... love you both.
ReplyDeleteoh shey! You are truly a wonderful woman and I am praying that God just hold you right now! Dear Jesus, please hold my friend sheyenne and sean! Send your angels to comfort them right now and hold their angel in your arms! we love u guys and will continue to hold u up in prayers!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh girl...my heart is breaking for you and Sean and at the same time rejoicing as I picture this perfect little angel girl sitting in the lap of Our Lord and Savior as he is singing and rejoicing over her! May the peace that passes all understanding surround you and Sean and your families tomorrow as you go through the day. Praying for a quick delivery. Love you so much girl. We will never forget little Whitney Jill and the time that she was here and the faith and testimony her parents shared to so many during that time and the time to come.
ReplyDeleteWhitney - "let sweet Jesus hold you, till mom and dad can hold you...you'll just have heaven before we do. I can't imagine heaven's lullabies and what they must sound like...but I will rest in knowing that heaven is your home and it is all you'll ever know." from Glory Baby by Watermark. Shey, I keep thinking of this song. You and Sean are in my thoughts and prayers. You are such an inspiration, thank you for being so real.
ReplyDeleteWe have never met, only have mutual friends, but I wanted to let you know that we are praying for you.
ReplyDeleteYou are in my prayers. The Lord has a perfect plan for your lives and His ways are not our....rejoice in the knowledge that he delights in the sight of your little angel. I know He is going to use this situation for His glory.....so keep up the faith and take heart....He says He will never leave you nor forsake you, you are the apple of His eye and He is with you in all this, to give you strength and hope for tomorrow. Love you and i pray Gods grace, peace and joy upon you both.
ReplyDeleteGrace Mbuthia
Hi Sheyenne and Sean,
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me, but I am a relative of Anne Durham Wilson. I, too, went through a very similar experience as yours 14 years ago. I lost my baby girl, Gabriela Lael, at 23 weeks. I am praying for both of you. You will have your baby angel, Whitney, in heaven for you when you arrive someday. I was told by my Rector at my church "that some souls only have to be here for a short time to make a profound impact on our lives and those around us." Whitney is making her impact on my life, even though I am a stranger to you, and to many other lives.
Shortly after saying goodbye to my daughter(6 weeks later), my husband and I started a support group to help other parents experiencing the loss of a baby. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life.
I can only hope that the two of you stay strong and supportive in your grieving, as you will grieve very differently. I am praying for you. And thank you for sharing your story with those around you. May God Bless you and keep you safe always.
I am so sorry Shey. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I know you are scared, and you really, have every right to be. It is a scary time, scary emotions, but atleast you know what to expect. I feel that the only thing that might bring a glimmer of hope and serenity is that you were able to know what to expect, compared as to 50 years ago when you really would have no idea about this diagnosis until birth. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. May Whitney meet her dearest relatives + dearest Kendall as well.
ReplyDeleteGrace and peace.
Sean and Shey,
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you both! I know we don't exactly live close, but if you need anything let me know day or night.
Love and Prayers,
Breanna
I love you my dear friend, and my heart is breaking for you. Sweet Whitney is surrounded by such beauty now and is dancing through fields of flowers with her Jesus and our Savannah.
ReplyDeletePraying continually for you and Sean.
Christina Burrell
Sheyenne & Sean,
ReplyDeleteYes we will pray that the Lord just loves you in a way you never had known possible. Thank you for letting us in your journey, to pray with you, and seek God along your side. I know Whitney did much while in your womb. She has shared the love of God and witnessed to so many people. Seriously she is a very loved child. YOUR SUCH GREAT PARENTS, great job Mom and Dad. I send my love,my tears for you, and prayers. And to Miss Whitney if I may tell her Happy Birthday Whitney I know Jesus has planned a massive party!
God Bless
Lydia Thomas
Praying as hard as I can for you. Don't be scared. The Lord has you in His hands, and He'll never let you go. Love you.
ReplyDeleteYou are my inspiration... I found you yesterday on the web. Our son is due in June and has Trisomy 18 Full and our path could be the same as yours. Even as a first time mother you have shown such love and care for Whitney. You are a woman of grace, beauty and strong faith. Your acceptance of everything inspires me. You are all in my prayers and thoughts. I thank you for sharing your journey. You have shared your faith, your hope and your heart. You have made a difference in my life by doing so. You have tremendous courage and I admire your strength. Whitney has been blessed to have you as a mother and Sean as her father. God Bless you all.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are will you all during this hard time.
ReplyDeleteOh my little Shey girl!
ReplyDeleteMy computer has been in the shop and I just got this a few minutes ago. Was sad you won't hear one more "I love you" from me before you've had to say "farewell" (not good-bye) to your little Whitney angel, and feeling pretty stupid I couldn't stop crying. Then God reminded me that by His design we cry with those we love - it's His precious gift and He's perfectly capable of making sure you feel my love and prayers. But I do wish I could be there to put my arms around you both. Of course you know that God-Our-Loving-Father has appointed so, so many to share your tears and pain; God-the-Redeemer has comforted you with extra measures of faith and courage to comfort and inspire more “others” than you’ll ever know; and God-the-Almighty-King has purposed things greater than we can even imagine. But it's still so, so hard, isn't it. And of course it's scary! (That transparency may be the greatest blessing you could share. What's the old saying... "Courage isn't the absence of fear, it's facing it and walking through it..." Thanks for inspiring us all to a little more courage and showing us how to trust Him more.)
Sean, you're not only Shey's hero, you're mine! God has given you such tender wisdom and servant-heartedness. I'm sure knowing this day would come doesn't make it any easier, but I'm thankful and rejoice with you for His faithfulness in the journey.
Please keep us posted. This journey has only just begun - the everyday battles yet to come may need more prayer than ever, and we really do need each other.
My prayer for you both will continue to be His peace that passes understanding and complete rest in His everlasting arms. I love you all three so much, and I'm so blessed by your lives.
You and your family are in my prayers. I don't remember how I found your blog, but I am thankful to have found you. My journey is different than yours, but we buried our baby girl after 22 hours. I pray that your time with Whitney is filled with peace. You will continue to be in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteLove, Michelle
michellekarr.blogspot.com
Sheyenne,
ReplyDeleteI found your blog through a message board that I frequent.
First, I want to tell you that I am just so, so sorry for your loss of Whitney.
I lost my first child to triploidy at 13 weeks in November, 2007. Our second child, Isaac, was born full term on October 7, 2008 and lived for just 16 minutes before going to be with Jesus. Isaac was diagnosed with a rare sequence of congenital birth defects when I was 12 weeks pregnant, and at 20 weeks, we learned that his condition was fatal.
Walking the road of losing a child is the most painful thing... but I am confident that God will faithfully meet you and Sean in your brokeness and will carry you through it, just as he Has so faithfully carried us.
My blogis http://sgirl79.blogspot.com and my email is coolteacher79@yahoo.com should you ever want to "talk" to another Christian mom who has been there... who is there.
You are not alone... and you are a very, very courageous mother. I know that both Whitney and our Savior must be incredibly proud of you.
Praying...
~ Stacy
I am so sorry. Caleb and I are praying for you now.
ReplyDeleteNot sure if you remember us, my daughter Sydney Fox was part of the youth group at First Christian Church in Roanoke Rapids. We want you to know that you are all in our thoughts in prayers.
ReplyDeleteWe have met maybe once or twice in NC through The Hershner's. We are from Ohio...I just wanted to let you know that we are praying for all the things you requested. I have learned that no matter what we go through God will pull us through it, even if he has to drag us!
ReplyDeletePrecious Sheyenne and Sean--
ReplyDeleteMay God hold you so close as you give little Whitney back to her heavenly Father. You are the best parents a little girl could ask for.
I've never met you, but came across your blog through a friend of a friend's. I have been praying for you both all night and day. May Jesus bring you peace and rest. May the moments of the next few days be stress-free so that you can celebrate the life of your daughter! I will continue to pray for you as you walk through this time. Blessings to you both.
ReplyDeleteLiz Herron
My thoughts and prayers are with you as you embark on the next phase of this arduous journey. I am so incredibly impressed with your strength and will.
ReplyDeletePraying for you Sheyenne, your faith is beautiful and inspiring. What a witness you are, and miraculous gift Whitney is to the power of Jesus.
ReplyDeleteHi Sheyenne, I'm a fellow mom from the April board on BBC. Thank you for sharing your journey and your faith. I can't always comprehend God's plan, although I spend a lot of time trying! All I know is that he created Whitney (and each of us!) with unique purpose. The other part of his plan, why he chose you and Sean to be her parents, doesn't take much thought at all. Who else would have given her everything you gave her, and loved her so well?? Sending prayers and love from our family to yours.
ReplyDeleteSean and Sheyenne,
ReplyDeleteI just recently found out all that you have been going through after receiving the prayer request from FCC and then reading your blog. My heart has been breaking for you ever since. I have prayed for you both daily. I know from this past year's experience with my mom's year long illness and then recent passing, that prayer and daily communication with God is what strengthens me and keeps me going. I admire you both for the strong faith and pure heart that is so evident in your blog. I know that right now, the "big picture" is probably very cloudy and fuzzy. But I feel sure that you have already reached so many and touched hearts of people in this world that need to know Jesus. I will continue to pray for you in the days and weeks to come. I love you both! Tracey Hedrick (FCC in RR, NC)
I am so sorry. My heart is so sad for you, and I could NOT be more proud of you - your honesty, strength, love, hope, pain, you are such a wonderful woman. And I am so proud of your choice in husbands, also.
ReplyDeleteI love you, dear girl.