So much in life is all about perspective, isn’t it? If you’ve got a good perspective on life, and keep what really matters in the forefront, chances are you’ll do just fine.
God never ceases to amaze me in his creation of people, his children. The more people I meet, the more places I go, the more I am in awe of God’s endless creativity.
In any given situation, we all bring our own perspectives to the table. And Christmastime is no different. As women, we may uniquely identify with Mary. As men, our husbands may find some common ground with Joseph. But beyond just our genders, our lifestories play an exceptional and undeniable role in our perspective on the Savior’s birth.
I just read an article this morning by an author who focused on the gratitude and obedience of Mary, in light of the inconveniences of her impending motherhood. The article then went on to discuss the inconveniences of motherhood... The physical discomfort in pregnancy, the pain during childbirth, the lack of sleep for the next 18 years, the death of self in the best interest of another.
I completely agree with this author on all her points: Mary subjected her motherly desires to God’s will in every way. She concerned herself more with matters of eternity than matters of the ‘here and now.’ She was an example of humility... Wholly submitting her body, heart and soul to the plan of God.
But its not through the inconveniences of motherhood that I connect with Mary. You see, I would give anything I could to have those inconveniences right now. I should have tired eyes and sore muscles from chasing a 10-month old around. But I don’t. When I was pregnant with Whitney, I reveled in the inconveniences of pregnancy. Heartburn? Gas? Sleeplessness? Mood swings? I loved it all. Every discomfort was a reminder she was still with me. I cherished the pain of childbirth; when it was gone, I longed for its return... For there to be two of us in my body, not just me. I pray that I will soon experience the inconveniences of motherhood... And when they do come, God-willing, I will pray for the strength to thank God for the sleepless nights, the unmatched exhaustion and everything else that I have missed out on this year.
Another perspective on Mary’s condition is of course the fact that she was an unwed mother, experiencing a very unplanned pregnancy. I’ve worked with women experiencing unplanned pregnancies since college. Its a very intimate place to be... In a room with a woman who is receiving confirmation that her life is going to change so drastically. I’ve heard the desperation in their voices, seen the despair in their faces, and felt the devastation in their hearts. I can only barely imagine the feelings that Mary had in those early months when she began to realize that what the angel had told her was really coming true... As she began to feel nauseous and tired, surely she wondered, how would her family respond? What would her husband-to-be say? Would she be stoned? Left alone? Outcast forever?
As I’ve sat in counseling rooms with numerous woman who have just received the news that they are pregnant, I’ve seen a lot of different reactions. They have a lot of questions, many that Mary may have thought... How can this be? (Well, this is a given seeing as how they’ve made choices that led them to become pregnant and Mary did not... But nevertheless, it is a question I hear often.) What will my family say? Will my friends desert me? What about the father of the baby... He’s going to leave me! Often, they learn to accept this turn of events in their life, but sometimes they do not.
From the accounts in Scripture, Mary’s only question was, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?” (A pretty sensical question, in my opinion!) When the angel explained to her, she simply responded with “I am the Lord’s servant.” Let it be. Again, from this perspective we see Mary’s obedience to God’s plan in her life. We see her humility in her willingness to be the Lord’s servant, regardless of how difficult the task at hand seemed. While I cannot connect personally with the feelings of experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, I can appreciate Mary’s response and obedience.
But there is another perspective, another take on Mary’s part in this Christmas story. And this is the one in which I most identify with the mother of our Savior. Mary was chosen by God because of her faith. The angel told her that she had “found favor with God.” Little is known about Mary’s personal history up until this point, but we know that she was a direct descendant of King David, from the line of Judah. She was connected by marriage to Elisabeth, who was from the line of Aaron. We can easily deduce from both her lineage and the angel’s professed “favor with God” that Mary was a faithful Jewish young woman. She likely had a good knowledge of the Scriptures (afterall, King David--- THE King David was in her family tree!), including the prophecies of a coming Savior. When the angel told Mary, “The Lord will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s decendants forever, his kingdom will never end” (Luke 1:32-33) she knew what this meant... Her unborn son, the child whom this angel was telling her about, was going to be the Savior of the world. The Savior she had undoubtedly heard about; the one for whom the Jews had been waiting centuries.
There’s a popular Christmas song that I used to love. Its called, “Mary Did You Know?” and asks all these questions... “Did you know that your baby boy would save our sons and daughters? Did you know your baby boy is Lord of all Creation? Did you know your baby boy would one day rule the nations?” It goes on and on asking all of these questions. Its a pretty song, but this year, its really started to annoy me... The answer to all of those questions is Yes! She knew... She knew because the angel had told her. She knew the heaviness of the situation and that this tiny baby she was going to birth would be the great Savior for whom generations had waited.
Here’s where my perspective comes in: Mary carried a child within her, knowing he would die. Of course, we all know that we’re going to die... But most pregnant women do not think of their child’s death before they are even born. But I think Mary did... Afterall, that is what it meant to be the Son of the Most High sent to earth. While I don’t think that her son’s death as Savior to all mankind is all that she thought about, I do believe that she knew it was coming. And what mother could help not thinking about this every now and then?
I can identify with the schizophrenic emotions that must have stirred within Mary... On the one had, intense joy with every kick from inside her belly. On the other hand, unthinkable sorrow at the thought that one day, she would not be able to protect him from the pain of this world. As mothers, our instinct is to protect our children, especially when they are so young and innocent. As I carried Whitney, knowing that she was not going to live, I felt such incredible heartache because I could not take away her sickness. But I had to learn to fully submit my life and her’s to the Great One who could heal her. The One who did heal her.
Again, from this perspective, the perspective of a mother who has also carried a child who was going to die too soon, we see Mary’s humility and obedience to God’s plan. And that is where I want to identify with Mary... I pray that my actions and my heart will always be open to the plan that God has for my life and the lives of my children.
Christmas this year has been difficult... Its all about a baby. And its a constant reminder that my baby is not here with me. There’s no stocking hung on my fireplace for her. No presents under our Christmas tree with her name on them. No new traditions or pictures with Santa. Some days, its really hard to keep things in perspective... To remember that Whitney fulfilled her time here on earth and is spending Christmas in heaven with Jesus.
As we drive around at night and see Christmas lights lit up everywhere, a symbol to us as Christians of the light of the world, I can’t help but imagine how magnificent spending Christmas with the true Light of the World must really be.
What is your perspective on Christmas?
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