One Word.

Reverb '10- Day One

After seeing this on my friend, Kristina's blog, I've decided to participate in Reverb 2010... its sort of a writing exercise to recap this past year.  And since this has bee quite the eventful year, I figured it would be a good thing to do.  

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Loss.

If I could sum up 2010 in one, honest word, it would be loss.  I've experienced more loss than year than my previous 28 years combined.  Most notably, we lost our baby.  Though I could go on and on about how I know we haven't really "lost" her... I know where she is and will see her again.  But we've lost the dreams we had for her here on this earth... we've lost milestones, birthday cakes, first days of school, dances, graduations and a million other would-be 'firsts.'  

Less importantly, we've lost our job (well, Sean's job but our main source of income and reason for the major relocation we made three years ago).  And as a result of that, we will lost our house.  And I will most likely have to lose(leave) my job, as well.  In comparison to the death of our daughter, losing a house or a job is truly the least of my cares.  It is time for us to move on, and we have no desire to stay on a sinking ship any longer than is necessary.  When life throws you a lifeboat, get off the Titanic, right?  So these losses are really just changes... and, if you want to get all "Dr. Phil" that's what my real 'issue' is.

So in all of those things, the true loss this year has been a loss of security and my previously held belief that life is inherently good.  Not that I've become a Debby Downer or Negative Nancy, I guess I've just been shaken out of my 'la-la-land' existence in which I so ignorantly blissfully lived in for nearly three decades and into the reality that most people are awaken to much too early.  So I'm not down on life, and I know that there are good people in the world, and that good things do happen, but I am also so much more acutely aware that this is life on earth.  EARTH.  Not heaven.  And its not meant to be perfect.  Its not even promised to be good.  But I am forever grateful and thankful that I know the One who IS perfect, and completely ALL GOOD.  

What would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Restoration.

This is a tough one... one-worders are always tough.  But I hope that in 2011, much that has been lost will be restored.  Not much else to say on that one.  :)